Nice guy syndrome

From ArticleWorld

Nice guy syndrome has developed as a result of pop culture and folk psychology. The term is used to describe a male who looks for romantic relationships and sexual intimacy but only finds friendship.

The origin of the term

The origin of the term stems from the stereotypical line some men get when they are broken up with: “You’re a nice guy, but …” It is the counter to “bad boy syndrome,” where women fall for men who are the bad seeds. It is typically believed that the “nice guys” aren’t the ones that arouse sexual attraction and romantic desire. The nice guys are believed to reach a woman’s friend zone; a platonic relationship that it is believed men may never return from.

Who is a nice guy?

The typical nice guy is pleasant and intelligent, but often has little romantic confidence and low self esteem when it comes to meeting women. He often features many of the qualities that women say they look for: good listener, articulate, thoughtful, etc; but, he fails to capitalize on these features. He’ll feel inadequate when one of his friends – most likely a failed romantic interest – falls into a relationship with an abusive or pig-headed male. One reason for this may be that women are attracted to confidence and independence whereas the Nice Guy comes across as clingy or needy, traits that are often seen as undesirable. Some people believe that since the Nice Guy is nice to everyone, his niceness to his love interest does not make her feel special.

Does it really exist?

There are no psychological theories that describe the cause, effect and typical behavior of “nice guy syndrome.” Therefore, its existence is even often debated.

Dr. Robert A. Glover, author of the book “No More Mr. Nice Guy, Guy,” writes that “nice guys” tend to be troubled by depression, low self-esteem, toxic shame and confusion over roles: All qualities that make them appear less attractive to women.