How to get to trust someone again
From ArticleWorld
To get to trust someone again can be very difficult if you have been hurt badly and are feeling unsure of your relationship. Many times the relationship is worth saving even though you have doubts after being burnt the first time round. The reason maybe that either the relationship is too important to you to let go or that you have over reacted to a peccadillo that does not merit loss of trust. Whatever the reason, here are a few pointers as to how to react in different circumstances.
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A few suggestions
- First you need to determine if the relationship is worth saving, maybe you are flogging a dead horse and to save yourself more heart ache you need to let go.
- Make a list of the reasons that make you think that you cannot trust the person and rate them according to the gravity of the ‘offense’. If it is a minor offense (like that the person rebuffed to you for seemingly no reason at all or ignored you at a party because they were with a really cool crowd) then you can think of letting the matter drop.
- If it is a major offense in your eye (like lying to you or not telling you about say a job offer because they wanted to apply for it themselves or even because they stole something of yours and then refused to return it) then you need to search your heart and decide if you want to continue being friends with such a deceitful person.
- If you decide to let bygones be bygones then you can get back together again provided you have it out with them first. A heart to heart does clear the air and pave the way for the future.
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Do’s
- Give yourself time. It will take a while for the hurt to heal so be patient and after a few months you might come around to thinking that things can be improved
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Don’ts
- Don’t hang on when there is nothing left in the relationship worth salvaging. Be man/ woman enough to let go.
- Don’t expect things to get back to their original shape again. There is an Indian saying – the thread of friendship once broken can never be joined and if it is, it leaves a knot.